you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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