I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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