like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize