I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize