Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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