Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
