what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
