While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
