this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
