i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
