I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
