Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
