I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
