Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
