You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
