The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
