I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
