I want to walk on stilts...naked
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
