Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
