New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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