If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
