It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize