i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
