I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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