So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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