i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
