FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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