My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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