she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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