My brain says no but my pants say off.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
