Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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