I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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