You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
