your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
