I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
