Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
