Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
