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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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