I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
