Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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