he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
