oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
