another moral hangover. fuck.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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