do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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