Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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