Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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