why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
