So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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