I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
