Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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