His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
