he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
