This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
