So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
