she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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