Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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