also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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