If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
