so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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