He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
