Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
